Lighter Side Twitter Shorts

Sometimes when problems and tests of this world look us in the face, all we can do is just look back and smile.

Following r twitter shorts, up 2 140 characters ea, dat may jus make u smile. Some of dese tweets inc Watchtower Society jargon.  Plse send n a comment 4 translation. : )

Sista at assembly hall tried to twerk it, fell off stage an blew a circuit; convention choked up dey had ta burp it #WitnessRap

WBTS got IPO so buy in, if ya homebound just use da tie in; lit counter is stocked an stacked, invest in WT den donate to Nasdaq #WitnessRap

Come on in there’s plenty of seatin’, I’ll be your attendant foe dis meetin’; BUT, ONLY other sheep hea, so, start yo bleatin’ #WitnessRap

Droppin big dimes on contribution boxes, shunnin pink song books like dey be toxic; rockin mic duty wit both hands in ma pockets #WitnessRap

Seen this sista twerk, didn’t infefere wit ha world wide work; den she thu up ha skirt, an ha service bag hit da dirt #WitnessRapBattles

I was reportin’ ma time when phone booth calls costed only a dime. I could place a Watchtower while still in da shower #WitnessRapBattles

May I hit chas wit Reasonin Fom da Scriptchas? I Examine ’em Daily so ma feet wont fail me as I browse fom house to house #witnessrapbattles

Was on da scene when NWTs were still green; curing CSs like antiseptic conductin Bible studies AND convertin my skeptics #witnessrapbattles.

I’d sneak WTs unda bathroom stalls, den drag ’em by dey necks to da Kingdom Halls. Den I’d really surprise ’em wit baptism #witnessrapbattles

I met ’em on da skreet o at dey doe, in a laundromat o at da sto. I let none go to r fro till dey kno ma knock knock flow #witnessrapbattles

In ma hand was 42 mil Watchtowers; placed ’em all within 24 hours. The CO was so impressed wit ma method, he VIP’d me straight up to Bethel

Yall know ’bout da “Truth Book”, it put BSs on my hook. Den i got down to da nitty gritty, slanging WTs from city 2 city #witnessrapbattles

I was initiatin RVs befoe most yall had TVs, turning em n2 Bible Studies, yeah homeboy, dem an all dey buddies #witnessbattleraps

4 May                         Rob Kutner@ApocalypseHow

{BOOM BOOM BOOM!} “Sarah Connor?” “Yes?” “May I geev you zis free copy of Ze Watchtower?”  BTW, I’ll b bock


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